Longest side note of my life. (Although probably not, I've probably written longer things in parentheses before... I like parentheses! Go go grammar!)

This post makes me feel a lot better about the state of America- there are more libraries and museums in the U.S. than there are Starbucks and McDonalds.  Here's a map: http://www.theatlanticcities.com/neighborhoods/2013/06/every-library-and-museum-america-mapped/5826/

Check it out (haha like a book from a library, get it?)  I'm so funny! 

I guess the next step for the U.S. is getting the kids and 20 somethings who are, lets face it, a bunch of assholes (yeah, I'm in that group. I know what I'm part of.  I'm writing about myself thinking that a whole bunch of people on the internet will be super fascinated and amused by my anecdotes.  Tell me thats not something a 20 something asshole American would do.  And then tell me that children aren't douchebags when they aren't looking cute all asleep or laughing when the dog sneezes or holding hands with their grandpa.  They can be real assholes sometimes.  Scientific fact: that is why God made humans think the weird, lets be honest- misshapen, baby's face is so cute- so we would feel genetically compelled to take care of the obnoxious things.  I'm not joking, that is a fact I learned on a documentary once.  Dogs have evolved to have similar characteristics to a baby so that humans would feel compelled to take care of them.  And look how well they are doing.  Jerry Seinfeld once told a joke about how if an alien spaceship landed, aliens would assume that dogs were running the show because humans were walking around picking up dog's poop.  I gotta say, he's not wrong there.  Wow that was a long side note- I bet you even forgot that this was all in parentheses didn't you?)

Anyway, look at the map of libraries and museums, then take your kids there by bribing them with the promise of a Happy Meal later if they are quiet.  Which they probably won't be.  And you'll probably still buy them a Happy Meal after. 

Food Holiday

Did you know...... that there is a national food holiday for almost every day of the year?  Like June 22 is National Onion Rings Day and the 4th of July is also known as Ceasar Salad Day. 

Fun fact for your day. 

Here's a link to see what all the days are (because I know you want to go right now and see what your birthday food is- mine is coconut cream pie) :
http://www.food.com/food-holidays/corn-on-the-cob-day-0611#./ice-cream-soda-day-0620?&_suid=137099739234805337350928819415

 

5 ways to pass a drug test.....

Number one: don't do drugs. (This is my addition- it seems a little obvious but for some reason when you google"How to pass a drug test" that option is not in the top results... DUH!  idiots...)

I suppose I should start  this off by saying that I am not concerned about passing a drug test.  Sometimes when I type slow enough in the Google search bar, it offers me alternative searches that it thinks I may be trying to type out.  Here is what came up:

 Of course, rather than search how to do anything, the majority of people in my "demographic" search for a TV show.  Of course they do.

I kept typing....

Obviously I know how to take a screenshot.....  Google hasn't hit mind-reading psychic powers yet.

Interesting selection, isn't it?  What if someone had to pass a drug test to get a job painting cars in a body shop, failed the drug test because of their obscene drug habits, so, in a fit of coke-induced brilliance, decided they had to move west and pan for gold.  This grand gesture would obviously need a well packed backpack along for the ride. 

So of course, I was curious and clicked on "how to pass a drug test."  Testing has gotten pretty high-tech and it is pretty hard to trick your way out of.  Again, I'd have to say just don't do the drugs in the first place if you fear drug testing.... 

Fun fact I learned from this WikiHow page (that has been edited by 112 people and read 4,341,707 times) is that it is nearly impossible for a dark haired person to manipulate the test results for a hair sample test because cocaine and other sythetic drugs are detected in the melanin (hair color).  THC, however, is detected by looking at the keratin.  Does that mean you could take fingernail samples to test for pot?  Ah, the deep questions of the world of science. 

P.s.  I was trying to search for "how to paint animals" before I got so sidetracked, in case you were wondering.  I'm having issues with my portrait of Douglas, the classy yet cantankerous pug. 

sorry about that....

I realize it has been a while.......

I really do apologize for that, but life got in the way a little bit.

No, nothing new or uber exciting has been happening.  One friend had a baby.  Another passed their semester with a GPA above 3.5.  And another ran an 8k marathon.  I'm very proud of them all!  Congratulations, friends!  Now back to me:

I have done nothing of note since I have written here.  I participated in a 1.5k fun run (which was mostly walking and had free beer at the end), had a goodbye party for a friend, went on a birthday brewery tour of one of the finest brewery towns in the Northwest (then, subsequently, forgot what I ordered for dinner that evening- because breweries close up at 8 pm around here, so you have to drink up fast!)  then mopped it up with delicious eggs benedict- no english muffin, though, because you know, I'm no gluten (hahahahahahahha  except for the massive amounts of beer I make and drink allll the time)  As a side note, I really want to send an apology to my internal organs, specifically my liver- you do such great things for me and all I do is abuse you.  For that, I am truly sorry.  If there are special herbs or teas or weird foods I can eat to help you, someone please let me know, because my liver deserves a spa day....

Anyway, for all of this neglect, I truly apologize, dear Reader.  Please forgive me and continue to tune in- I promise I'll do better this summer amidst the weekend getaways, wedding planning, and excessive day drinking (which is now wildly inappropriate, seeing as I'm over 25 and there are no football games or birthdays on the horizon.  Maybe I'll just pretend I'm camping... every day)

As my first post back from my hiatus, I'd like to share a quote that I seem to be seeing everywhere these days that I like, even though it is a cliche thing:

"I'm in love with Montana.  For other states I have admiration, respect, recognition, even some affection.  But with Montana, it is love.  And its difficult to analyze love when you're in it."
--John Steinbeck, from 'Travels with Charley, In Search of America'

"It's Hard out Here for a Pimp"... B+

For those of you that have been wondering what my academic writing was once like, and in case anyone saw a recent facebook post of mine and was intrigued by the title of one of my found essays, here is something I found this evening in a box of old papers and college stuff (Its from a philosophy class....)

"It's Hard out Here for a Pimp"

(But It's Even Harder for a Prostitute)

 

So many different individuals and organizations openly bash the practice of prostitution and the activities that take place involving prostitution.  It is awfully hard to find people who are openly for prostitution and its forthcomings.  Why?  Is prostitution as morally wrong as we are lead to believe?  The allegation that prostitution is is immoral can be found by looking into the principle theories of Kant and the teachings of the Bible.  As we will find, these two sources go along with each other hand in hand, along with some shocking facts about the horrors of the occupation known as prostitution.

 

 

Use your imagination and picture a beautiful woman standing on the next street corner.  She has a stunningly beautiful frame, and has somehow managed to squeeze herself into a skin tight outfit that proves to be very enticing for her potential clients.  Any random man (or woman, for that matter) could approach her at any given moment and offer to purchase a slice of her time and a plethora of her skills.  Looking at this objectively, it seems quite innocent.  It seems to be no more offensive than a professional athlete, displaying their superior athletic skills in front of thousands of fans for a specified amount of time.  But prostitution is different.  Prostitution is, obviously, someone who engages "in sexual intercourse or performs other sex acts in exchange for money," as defined by the English Encarta Dictionary.  If one were to delve into Immanuel Kant's piece, entitled The Moral Law, they would see that his 'Second Formulation of the Categorical Imperative" could easily be applied to the topic of selling one's body and sexual abilities.  In Kant's "Categorical Imperative," he clearly states that using other human  beings as a means to an end, not an end in itself, is most definitely morally wrong (Kant 314)." ...rational beings... are called persons, because their very nature points them out as ends in themselves, that is as something which must not be used merely as means, and so far therefore restricts freedom of action (and is an object of respect)," writes Kant in regards to respect and proper treatment of fellow human beings.  As stated, this is unconditional, and is applied to all forms of bodily practices and trade, even if safe sex is practiced and the prostitute and his or her client partake in such activities on their own will.  Thes two factors are completely disregarded in Kantian theory because these two people are still partaking in prostitution only as a form of using each other as means to their own ends.  As I understand Kant's text, prostitution is merely the use of someone as a way to satisfy sexual urges and financial needs (if you are to examine the other end of the spectrum), and selling sexual favors does not treat the people involved as their absolute worth would ascribe.

 

Of course, as any God fearing Christian would agree, the Bible teaches many millions of people what to practice and accept as their moral codes.  And according to the Bilbe, prostitution is a dreadfully bad thing.  "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord... Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute?  Never! ... one who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body... For it is said, The two will become one flesh."  This text was found in I Corinthians, 6:13-20 (Lansdown).  Kant would agree with this in a different context in his short essay entitled "On the Place of Sex in Human Existence."  In the introduction to this piece, the editor sums up Kant, saying, "...the trick is to conbine this personal sexual satisfaction with treating the other with dignity..."  Of course, sexual dignity, in Kantian and Biblical terms can only be found within a loving, respecctful relationship between two people- something very rarely, if ever, found within the boundaries of prostitute-client relations.

 

However, if you do not agree with Kant, or you happen to not see eye to eye with Christianity and the teachings of the bible, prostitution is still a moral no-no.  One only has to look at the numbers and statistics to understand that prostitution is not a good and morally sound thing to practice.  The open practice of disrespect towards the human functions and practices may lead to a different, and usually negative, perspecitive of life for the people involved in this different lifestyle.  Who among us hasn't heard the classic headline reading something similar to "string of prostitues brutally murdered and found in plastic bags in convicted man's attic,"?  The martality rate for female prostitues was found to be an average of 204 per 100,000 in Colorado Springs several years ago, which, when compared to the job with the next highest rate of homicide, the male taxi driver, is amazingly high.  For every 100,000 taxi cab drivers, an average of 29 dies (MacCorquodale).  They seem to also be more likely to be targeted by serial killers, as my faux headline above represents.  Take the popular historical reference, Jack the Ripper, as a fine example of a serial prostitute killer.  This occupational hazard is not only a horrendous discovery, but it also scrapes the surface of morality- something that has such a ahigh incidence of murder and violence surely cannot be something that is absolute and morally correct.

 

Surely there must be a reason that noteworthy individuals and organizations are so adamantly against prostitution, and I believe we have found just a few reasons why.  Prostitution is as morally wrong as we are lead to believe, and we can thank such sources as Immanuel Knat's texts, the Bible, and the findings of current studies for allowing us the knowledge and information to base this statement on.  The allegation that prostitutionis immoral is easily found by looking into well known ethical codes and studies.



Delicious beer! Coconut flavored ale from Kona Brewing Co.

Great Irish Proverbs

"Laughter is brightest in the place where food is."
(found on Jo and Sue cooking blog)

"All happy endings are beginnings as well."
p.s. Happy Endings is an awesome tv show.  Check it out if you haven't already discovered it.

"A narrow neck keeps the bottle from being emptied in one swig."
Hmmm....

"A ring on a good woman's finger is no good without a blouse on her back."
(= Hey, don't be a skank!)

"Be kind to those that meet you as you rise, you may pass them again as you fall."

"Handfuls make a load."
(Haha- I know what the proverb is referring to, but I'm also referring to something else, if you know what I'm sayin....)

"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind donkey."
-What does this mean??

And, since it is almost April- a new spin on April showers bring May flowers......
"A soft dropping April brings milk to cows and sheep."

--Most of these were found at http://www.irishabroad.com/culture/proverbs/#top.  There are a TON more, some that are very profound and a lot of really strange ones that take a bit of deciphering.